


autumn too long

by the_crownless_queen



Series: in every universe (I choose you) [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-05-28 08:03:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15044369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_crownless_queen/pseuds/the_crownless_queen
Summary: Edgar and Fabian meet in support group.





	autumn too long

The diagnosis came when Edgar was eighteen. One moment he was happily graduating high school and looking forward to life in college, finally able to get some distance from his family for once, and the next he was lying in a hospital bed, getting told he had a tumor in his head.

Getting told that without an operation  _now_ , he'd probably be dead in two or three years, if not less. That even then, the cancer might come back one day.

He had had the operation.

That had been five years ago.

Edgar was  _fine_. He was. There was no need for his siblings to worry, no need for his mother to look at him like he might vanish if she looked away, no need for his father to grieve like he had died on that table.

No need for them to push him to go to some stupid support group.

"It might help," they told him; like he needed help. "You're not fine, Edgar," his mother said, and behind her, Amelia, her face soft in the way it only ever was around her family, said, "For me, please?"

And well, Edgar had never been able to tell his little sister no.

He never expected to like it, though. But the people there, if not the atmosphere, was compelling.

There was Alastor, who is more machine than man these days (his words, not Edgar's) and sees death everywhere and was the bitterest man Edgar's ever met — and yet he also looked out for everyone else.

"You're all too pitiful on your own," he would say. "I can't stand to leave you alone — you probably wouldn't make it another day. I was in the Army, boy," he would add. "I know these things."

There was Alice, a tiny wisp of a girl who only looked fragile — in truth, she had so much spirit, so much fire, that even Alastor grudgingly respected her. On Edgar's first time here, she had told their counselor, who had been trying his 'you won the fight against cancer, you can win this too' bullshit, "Winning is only important in war and surgery."

There was Caradoc, who couldn't speak anymore but who still had enough presence to fill the entire room just by himself.

And then there was Gideon, the surly redhead who alternated between looking like he wanted to be there just as much as Edgar did and cracking jokes like there was no tomorrow.

Gideon was a mystery and interesting; an enigma wrapped in the prettiest body.

In short, he was everything Edgar was missing in his life. The missing puzzle piece — something to hold his attention.

.

Sometimes, Fabian dreamed about the infinite number of ways everything could have gone right.

In those dreams, his brother had never gotten sick. Gideon had never had death shadowing his every step, had never known that his own body could work against him — never known that he could be betrayed in this most horrible way.

In those dreams, his brother had never laid in a hospital bed, skin deathly pale and red hair shaved off as he waited for a cure that might not even work.

(It had, though. Thank the heavens, but it had.)

Waking from those dreams always was the hardest part.

Maybe that was why Fabian had agreed to go to Gideon's support group whenever it got to be too much for his brother. After all, they were twins. As long as he remembered to answer to Gideon, no one would ever know to suspect a thing.

It was supposed to be foolproof. A way to help his brother heal when the group didn't seem to, and to help  _him_  heal as well — because it helped, seeing all those people who had gone through the same thing as his twin had.

It made him feel like a fraud, but it helped.

Fabian wasn't sure what that said about him.

And for a long time, everything had worked just fine. Gideon and Fabian traded places for the meetings randomly and no one suspected a thing. Not even their parents or, god forbid, their little sister.

But then Edgar Bones had joined the support group, and things had… shifted. They had changed without Fabian even realizing they had, and now he was struggling to stay afloat somewhere where he had thought he'd always reach the ground.

Edgar, with his chiseled cheekbones and his sharp smiles. Edgar, who never takes his eyes off him and looks at him like he's a mystery.

Edgar, who thinks he's Gideon.

.

"I have a problem," Edgar said out loud, looking into his mirror. His reflection looked back, silent and unwavering.

Saying the words out loud hadn't made anything clearer, the way he'd madly half-hoped it would, and now Edgar is back to contemplating his inner turmoil as he's done over the past few weeks.

He pressed the palms of his hands against his closed eyes until he saw red, but it didn't help. When he blinked away the odd spots, he could still remember Gideon's face, the way those freckles looked on his cheeks when his lips twisted into a smile.

The freckles.

"The freckles," he whispered, head snapping back up.

The man in the mirror had wild, feverish eyes. The look of someone who'd just had a revelation.

"The freckles," he repeated, hope filling his veins with a terrible cold.

He knew, suddenly, why Gideon always acted so differently from one session to the next. Why he sometimes seemed to forget what Edgar had told him, only to remember it later.

After all, hadn't he mentioned a sibling? A brother, even, who had given him the bone marrow he needed to live.

Edgar knew the odds of that. Strangely, they were higher if that sibling was a twin.

A relieved laugh bubbled up his throat, spilling nervously from his mouth. "There's two of them," he breathed.

In the mirror, his own eyes twinkled.

.

"We have a problem," Fabian said, storming his brother's room. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was pacing, but he couldn't help it, couldn't stop moving. If he did, he would see Edgar's face again. See Edgar's lips as he smiled, hear his laugh echo in his mind, remember the feel of his skin from when their hands brushed against one another.

Gideon kicked his chair around, putting his feet against his bed to stop its spinning when he faced his brother.

"You mean  _you_  have a problem," he replied dryly.

" _We_  have a problem," Fabian insists. Panics claws at his throat. "What are we supposed to do — we can't just tell him!"

"Ah, so this  _is_  about Edgar then," Gideon replied, laughter clear in his voice.

Fabian glared at him. "Of course it's about Edgar," he said. "He's going to figure us out, you know he will."

Gideon shrugged. "So what? Let him."

" _Let him?"_  Fabian gaped.

"Sure, why not? I don't need to go back to that support group, it's useless to me. I haven't been in weeks."

'You…" Fabian trailed off as he realized how true that was. He  _had_  taken his brother's place in the group more and more lately. In fact, he had attended every session in the last two weeks.

Eyes narrowing, he glared at his brother harder. " _Gideon_ …" He growled.

Gideon rolled his eyes. "Come on, I had to get tired of your mooning at some point. Plus, it got really weird having him stare at me — you know I'm straight. I thought maybe this way you might finally end up making a move. Or he might. God forbid he try it on me, after all." He shivered.

"Yes, god forbid," Fabian drawled sarcastically.

"It'd be awkward," Gideon continued.

Fabian snorted. "Pretty sure awkward would be too weak of a word here," he replied, chest warming when Gideon smiled at his words.

"But seriously, Fabian, just make a move. You'd have to be blind not to see how gone you two are for each other — don't be stupid and just ask him out already."

"I…"

"Say you will," Gideon prompted, eyes burning with gentle determination.

It had been so long since Gideon's eyes had burned with anything even resembling life.

"I will." The words slipped out almost on their own, but he didn't regret them.

"Good," Gideon replied, smile blindingly bright. "That's good."

_Yes_ , Fabian thought, butterflies fluttering in his stomach as he thought about asking Edgar out,  _it rather was_.


End file.
